Bani's Theorem 1

Eureka! Yo! Yo! I did it! I finally made it!

I had lost faith in myself, but now I have got it back!

I tried and tried for months but it was last weekend that I succeeded!

Yes!!!!!!! Iyeh! Iyeh!

Oh sorry I forgot to tell in what, I finally caught cold, my first this monsoon :)

Last four months I got drenched every weekend in treks and tours,

sometimes I was so soaked that even the bone marrow swelled!

But I still didn't catch cold :(, I was so upset... I started wondering,

is there some prob with my body! Why the heck I don't catch cold... not even a sneeze!

Frustrated I decided to stay home and rest this weekend! Alas! 

That did the trick! I finally got a red nose and made a score of sneezes!

Yo! Nothing wrong with my Body!

Ok now let's get to the main part, enough of gossip! Let's Scientists

do Science talk!

So here's the Bani's Theorem 1, derived from the observation of the

series of experiment conducted successfully (I wonder why is the word

successfully always postfixed to experiments.... like they postfix

only to $1,000,000.. geez when is the symbol for Rupiya getting to the

keyboards, I will use $ till then, I love $$... it's lines in SS....

calm down! calm down!) Where was I? Oh ya the theorem!

Ok lemme think a bit.... mmmmmm... aaaaaa..... (I guess the guy who

invented Aum was doing some aaaaa uuuuu mmmmmm and thinking and got

his enlightenment by combining aaaauuummm, I like aaaah ooohh aaachu more)

Enough! Stop your nonsense! Talk what you came here for! 

Talk when you walk! Oh sry, I m sitting so I can't talk! 

Oh I forgot I m typing not talking, I am allowed to do that even if I am not walking! 

What an Idea Sirji!

Calm Down! Calm Down! Buddy you have cold, you need to rest don't

waste time here. Rest the fingers or the nose? 

Whatever.... (Whatever as girls use it, Just saw a video where a guy proclaimed what 

girls mean by the 9 phrases they use, as if this guy knows!)

So here the Theorem that will get me the Oscar in Medical Science! Was

it Oscar or Nobli? or was it Arjuna Pushkar! Damn it! 

They should have just one prize for everything! And name it something simpler! 

Like Bani Award! I will not have any more confusion at all ever never!

Now I am really damn tired of lecturing you stupid people! Get the

heck out of my life! I don't wanna share my little secret with you!

Some thieves in the name of globalization will sell my unpatented

theorem to some Mongolian Multinational Pharmaceutical! 

Anyone knows how to make a patent! 

And how is it different from making Wada Pau? 

I know Wada Pau has Wada and Pau, what about Patent? Pant and ent? 

I know people, who add lot of sugar in food, pronounce ant as ent... and

they are the indigenous business class of India! May be they got lot

of ent in pent, thats why to be good in business you need ent in pent.

I will prefer without any ent! Now it's really going way beyond control! 

Enough of Chit Chat! I am a scientist now! I have my know Theory! 

I am a busy guy now! No time for nonsense with you people!

Bye! Get the heck out of hya!

Geeeeezzzz!!!!!

Kahan kahan se chale aate hein!

Ouffh! I am so sick of these people you know! They just poke their

nose everywhere, hungry wolves! They want every damn formula to

succeed in life! Selfish blokes! It gets on my nerve! 

Will slit the throats! Grrrrrr!

I need a break! I am going to do Pakhal Baat Pranayam (Those who don't

watch Ekta Channel and not heard of Pakhal Baat Pranayam go drown in

Goat Dung! but get enlightened by checking this out before u drown! -

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/3VYwBr-Xfns?feature=share

Lemme finish my pranayam! 2 mins! 

I told 2 mins, damn it, can't you wait! Just shut it and be there!

___________________________________________________________________

1,2,3 chk! 1,2,3 chk! What the heck! all left!

how dare they!

Anyways! I gotta poke my nose after I finish this off. I can't control

any more! Poking nose is one of those actions that gives eternal bliss

like clear bowel does. So here it is for you, just for you (remember

pent with ent, don't copy paste else I will let the ent in ur pent) -

From the observation that I caught cold when I stayed home and staying

home as I have cold, I conclude the conclusion; a conclusion just next

to Evolution Theory by Warwin; that -

"People who are sick stay home"

Corollary:

"People who stay home, get sick"

I am bit against the use of stones as ornaments else would have imbued

the above law into LEGBOOK with the stone named gold!

Anyways, I hope my Oscar in Medical Science will be sent by Billou Dart, 

I don't have time to go Hawaii to attend it. 

I am goddam busy you see! 

You see I am so busy that Pune Auto Drivers are begging me to

lend them my watch to install it inside their meter! 

My watch just swirls madly! Just yesterday Narain Karthikeyan gave a call and asked

if he can have my watch! I asked what for! he says he will replace my

watch in place of the crappy engine his machine has! I just cut the

call with a bang! They think my watch is so cheap, 

I already lend it to NASA! They were just hell crazy about going to Proxima Centauri!

Damn they woke me up yesterday midnight just to tell they managed to

reach there, couldn't they wait till the next morning to give me a call! 

People with no base! They just float around and blame it on lack

of gravity! You need gravity of character to stand on your feet! 

And top of that they say one goddam ashtraynomore dropped my watch into

the fiery star's core by mistake! Gotta slit his throat when he is back!